3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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