R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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