did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You ate ashes out of my bong
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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