He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
