I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
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I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.