I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
