So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
