i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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