Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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