My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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