I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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