If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize