we have pet lesbian snakes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
