he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
