is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
