if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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