That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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