Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
