I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
