my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
