meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
