so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it hurts more in the daytime
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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