Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
