Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
