Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
