I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
