OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
