So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
