i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
