He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have post one night stand depression
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