that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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