I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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