You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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