there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
