he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
