Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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