so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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