I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
