I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
