my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
