from now on my penis is your penis
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
