TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
