hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
