Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
