you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
