Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
