So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
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I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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