Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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