just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
