Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
