Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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