it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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