yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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