Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
