I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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