it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Even my vagina gasped.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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