I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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