i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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