Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
