honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
