If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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