also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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