Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
