Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
